I actually wanted to entitle this post ‘Have self-esteem like Rihanna’, but I found out, earlier this this year, she’s received counseling to deal with her self-esteem issues. Although, superficially looking, one might think Rihanna is bursting with confidence, reality is different. This almost became yet another stereotype of a black woman. I’m sure you know many black women who are, like Rihanna, covering their insecurities with their ‘confident attitude’.
While, on the other hand, Beyoncé is someone whose self-esteem comes from within. Someone who’s a real role model for what I want you to achieve!
All this really made me wonder: Why so many black women have low self-esteem?
How did a Black Woman lose her self-esteem in the first place?
As you can imagine, everything starts in childhood. Children start loving themselves after parents show them they love them. Also, when parents respect their children, children develop self-respect. After parents express that they’re content and pleased with their children, children learn complacency.
Lastly, the most important thing that a parent can do for his or her child is to show the trust in child’s ability. Then child develops self-esteem or self-confidence.
Single, preoccupied parents that don’t have time to devote to their children, because they have to earn money to pay their bills: this is gloomy day to day existence of many black girls. The consequence of this is, of course, that many black women have low self-confidence.
Society has it share in black women’s low self-esteem. For many decades, the beauty ideal has been image of a white woman. The oblivious truth, shown in the documentary ‘Dark girls’, saddens me: gorgeous little black girls thinking they’re not beautiful just because they have dark skin.
Black community is not lagging behind. It’s a commonplace that black men treat black women disrespectfully. It’s as if, at some point, we all started to believe the propaganda. Maybe Joseph Goebbels (Hitler’s Propaganda Minister) was right when he said: ‘If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth.’
It’s time to change that! Black Woman must have high self-esteem!
What can you do to regain your self-esteem?
You’ll feel self-confident when you start believing in your abilities. You’ll notice you have high self-esteem when you find yourself in a difficult situation and suddenly you realize you’re capable of overcoming it.
So how to start building self-esteem:
1) Remove toxic people from your life
If your boyfriend or significant other doesn’t treat you with respect, you’ll never have high self-esteem. Take a stand for yourself and don’t settle for anything less than perfect for your personal life! Also, don’t let other close people like friends, family members or colleagues put you down. Words are very important and can influence you on a subconscious level. So surround yourself with positive, encouraging people.
2) Develop self-respect
Start noticing your needs and feelings. Respect your needs and feelings. Self-respect starts when you acknowledge your self-worth. Sometimes you may have difficulty seeing yourself as a valuable person. So write down your qualities and positive traits. If you start doing this regularly, soon self-respect will emerge.
3) Nurture complacency
It’s essential for you to start nurturing complacency. Make it a spiritual practice. Start writing things about yourself that you’re content and pleased with. It could be something you did, how you handled a difficult situation, and/or your personal traits that served you well in some situations. Make it a habit!
4) Develop self-love
It’s extremely difficult to start loving yourself, especially if you’ve been depressed for a while and feel self-resentment. Self-love won’t happen after finger-snapping. However, self-love will develop slowly when you develop self-respect, nurture complacency, and change your environment.
Start practicing these things and soon you’ll regain self-confidence. Feeling self-confident will dramatically change your life for the better.
What’s your opinion about why many black women have low self-esteem? How do you boost your confidence? Share bellow.
Photo by Jen Keys